For someone who coaches around single life, relationships, & dating, I realized that I sure don’t write much about it. I tend to focus a lot more on self-love, which I still think I’d the biggest key to attracting the relationship that complements you best.
Frankly, talking to others about dating can be downright uncomfortable. There’s a fine line between observing and advising. Dating doesn’t have as hard and fast rules as people tend to think, so I stray away from writing about it extensively because each date is as unique as the people showing up to it. There’s no right or wrong way - only different ways of THINKING to attract what you want.
But then the Ultimate Blog Challenge showed up for this quarter, & I saw this wonderful opportunity to share what I know AND hear what concerns people most around dating. So, every day (as best as I can - that’s the challenge, after all!) for the next 30 days, I’ll be talking about dating, hopefully in a way you haven’t heard before.
To this end, you can help me keep it relevant by sharing your biggest questions (or the most nagging or annoying things) about dating. I’ve got some topics in mind, but I’d love a chance to hear & address what you’re actually dealing with today - whether they’re fears, perceptions, attitudes, or situations; what to wear, what to say, when to say it, & how to know this yourself.
What are you being challenged with in your dating life right now? (Comment below or on my Facebook page, or email me at SoulmateFromWithin@gmail.com.) Looking forward to hearing from you!
(Bay Area Tour - Day 5, San Mateo)
Sometimes, you have to be amidst the unfamiliar to appreciate what good has always been right in front of you.
After the baby went to bed for the night, my uncle asked me to stick around while they made “kuwento,” that is in Filipino, hanging out & telling stories. I normally would have stuck around, but I had to tell my uncle “No,” that I needed to get back into the room with TheSGD.
After I left the room, I heard my mom say to some people, “She’s a good mother; she takes care of her baby.” Maybe I needed to take this trip so I could hear my mom say just that.
(My mom’s a Filipino mom; I accept that i might not have heard such a comment otherwise. I’ll take whatever I can get.)
(Bay Area Tour - Day 4, San Jose / San Mateo)
Tonight, while my mom was watching my brother’s show with my aunts and their families, TheSGD and I were left to our own devices. Just like at home, it’s amazing how quickly 3 hours can go by.
Still, you may wonder how we filled up that time - or how you might fill up that time in a hotel yourself, one-on-one with a toddler. We walked the lobby for about an hour. Well, TheSGD walked, and I guarded her from harm. There was a cheer leading competition in town for the weekend, so we met two families of cheerleaders in the lobby. The two cheerleader girls were only about 8 or 10 years old, & they loved hanging out with TheSGD. Yes, I absolutely was still nervous, still watching them and her like a hawk - & nothing bad happened to anyone. I’m sure the girls got sick of me hovering around, but they were good sports about it. After all, just because their parents didn’t need to watch them as closely as they trounced all over the lobby furniture didn’t mean I could leave TheSGD alone with them.
TheSGD didn’t mind the girls so much. She isn’t quite old enough to understand playing with other kids, so she seemed kind of fascinated but aloof. I had to explain to them that she didn’t have words yet & had just started walking But that they didn’t have to hold her up or hold her hand. I watched for & blocked or steered her from corners and edges she might fall headlong into.
Then we went up to our room to eat some dinner. You’ll see in the photo that she’s secured to the desk chair via a self-inflating booster seat my mom found (kind of a hassle to put up when you’re by yourself & trying to wrangle a hungry child, but it really works when you’re in a place that doesn’t have high chairs and it packs pretty small) & she’s eating off a silicone mat with suction cups stuck to the desktop (another investment I thought was going to be more cheesy than useful but has actually proven itself to be a diaper bag essential). She eats table food now. The only limiting factor is her desire to stay in the booster seat. She’s at the age where she’d rather walk & explore than eat, so her staying seated for any extended time is a real gift.
A bit later, I gave her a quick bath in the inflatable tub, and soon enough, she was ready for bed.
While she napped, I got our stuff all packed up for the second leg of our trip. By midnight, we were driving on with my aunt and her family to their place in San Mateo. (This was now my 3rd installation of the carseat. The LATCH system in their van made it so much easier.) I had hoped that TheSGD would sleep on the drive, but to no avail.
Now If it were just me, I probably would NOT be traveling with baby late at night. I say that now, not having done a long road trip with her yet. It’s possible on a very long road trip (6+ hours), if she & I were traveling alone, late at night could be the only time I could get some solid driving done. But man, after watching her all day, it is challenging for me to stay up very late & still be alert enough to mind her the following day. Anyone have any experience with taking road trips with babies that they’d be willing to share?
(Bay Area Tour - Day 3, San Jose)
Here at the Hyatt Place, we are rooming with my brother in a double-double. That is, 2 double beds & a couch. TheSGD & I sleep on 1 bed, while my mom is on the couch, & my brother is in the other bed. (Believe me, he offered her the other bed maybe a hundred times each night we’ve web here, & she’s said No every time.)
The double bed is a tight squeeze for me & the baby. We use a lot of pillow barricades.
The 1st night, my mom suggested the baby & I sleep crosswise on the bed, in order to safeguard against the baby falling off the bed. My brother asked me in the AM if my legs fell asleep, because they were hanging off the bed when he came home from the show. Well, that explained my sore knees the next day!
Last night, TheSGD & I resolved to fit lengthwise in the double bed - & we made it work somehow. Granted, I had to redirect her from moving into a crosswise position a couple times during the night, blockading her sometimes, readjusting her sometimes, but it seemed no more inconvenient than nights at home in our family bed. And this was worlds more comfortable for me than lying with half my legs hanging off the bed.
The baby’s sleep schedule is totally skewed, by the way - by about 2 hours, because of the time difference. Granted, because Daylight Saving Time starts this weekend, it won’t be nearly as much of an adjustment when we’re home next week. Theatre schedules, television, hotel lamps, & the ”Late Night Filipino Factor” are all challenging the baby to fall asleep at naptime & at night. I have breastfeeding & the Sleep Sheep’s rain sounds in TheSGD’s favor, but that’s not proving much help so far. It will be interesting to see how we can best honor TheSGD’s needs for sleep at my aunts’ houses for the latter part of the trip.
Bay Area Tour - Day 1, Phoenix / San Jose
We arrived in San Jose today. It’s my 1st trip with my baby daughter, TheSGD, without my husband.
I’m sharing this experience on this blog for any other parents who want to travel with their babies or toddlers. So feel free to share your experience, ask about your concerns, or just enjoy our journey with us. I plan to share my love of travel with TheSGD more in this next year, but I have a lot to learn & get comfortable with as we become a seasoned pair of travelers.
Back to this trip!
While I’ve been excited to travel with baby girl & to catch my little brother while he’s on tour with Beauty & the Beast, preparing for this trip has been a great weight on my mind, and I was SO ready for us to leave for the airport & get on with this trip already!
The Logistics:
My mother, TheSGD , & i are flying from Phoenix to San Jose, where we’ll be meeting & staying with my brother at his hotel for 3 days. After that, TheSGD does her Bay Area tour with family for the next 4 days before we leave back to Phoenix out of Oakland.
“I Didn’t Sleep at All Last Night”
This whole week, I’ve intended to pack a little bit at a time. I’ve had different people over to the house this week in the hopes that they could watch over TheSGD while I pack. But it’s really challenging to pack a suitcase with a 1-year-old walker /explorer in the house.
That’s what naps are for, right? Well, I think TheSGD knows when I want to get something done, because she had never been more clingy and less in need of a nap than this last week! After being up all day with her, I needed to sleep at night, so I wasn’t able to pack at night either.
Packing It
The photo is what our suitcase looked like by 8:30AM today, before TheSGD woke up for the day - after working on it since 3:00AM. It pained me partway through to have to move all the contents from my standard overnight bag to this monster full-size suitcase (the one that’s about as tall as my leg). I didn’t even take a bag half this big when I was traveling in Europe for 5 weeks, so this really was painful for me.
Besides our suitcase & my mom’s, we are also checking a stroller & a carseat in. Again, that’s 1 or 2 bags too many, for someone who hates luggage. If I were traveling with just TheSGD, I would leave the stroller at home & just carry her around the airport in the carrier. (The carriers i use are the Babyhawk mei tai and the Moby wrap.)
Leaving…on a Jet Plane
TheSGD’s been on a plane four times already, but this 2-hour trip to San Jose is the longest she has flown yet. I got her on as a lap child, so no extra seat required for her.
While Southwest Airlines told me I could put TheSGD in her own seat, in our FAA-approved carseat, without charge, IF there were open seats on the plane, we decided against it for two main reasons:
1. The baby can’t breastfeed from the carseat.
2. If she gets fussy in the seat, it’s a bigger hassle to remove her from it, and if that happens during takeoff or landing, I wouldn’t be able to help her at all.
3. Even with a wheeled carrier, the carseat is bulky to get through security and all the way up to our gate, on top of everything else we were carrying on.
(Note: if the flight filled up between our getting from the ticket counter to the gate, Southwest assured me I could gate check the carseat, along with the stroller, without charge.
The flight I booked was a 12:20PM departure - right around her regular naptime - so she fell asleep while breastfeeding during takeoff. She woke up after about 45 minutes, & my mom & i entertained her with the emergency exit card, games of peekaboo, & lets-look-at-the-airplane-wing-out-the-window. Her ears bugged her a little on the descent, so she breastfed a little more but didn’t go back to sleep.
Product Disclaimer:
I purchased or acquired any of the products or services I’ve written about WITHOUT any compensation or other incentive from any companies or organizations that I have explicitly noted or implied. If you’d like more information on my experience with brand of a product or service I used on this trip, please feel free to ask.
After all the arriving and departing and the no-sleeping of yesterday, I totally crashed out last night with TheSGD. I didn’t even hear my mom & brother talking with all the lights on after he got back from his show. I woke up briefly at 3:00AM (not unusual for me), but couldnt wake up enough to change clothes or take a potty break. I needed the rest desperately.
This afternoon, with my mom entertaining the baby, I spent some focused moments setting up “Home Base” in the hotel room. Opening & closing the suitcase every 10 minutes to grab something for TheSGD or myself was getting ridiculous, so I unpacked TheSGD’s clothes into a hotel drawer & her toys into another drawer. Even though we were only going to be at the hotel a few nights, this would make her stuff accessible to both my mom & myself, removing the extra step of asking me where the baby pajamas or her favorite book are.
Setting up Home Base also meant a safety check of the room & getting bags & shoes off the floor & on top of tables where the lil walker could reach. We hid the garbage can in a cabinet for the same reason.
Today’s Lessons:
- The more baby has to process, the more her cues for sleepiness need to be honored.
TheSGD was presented with so much new stuff today: breakfast in a new environment, an grandparents & uncles she hasn’t seen for 6 months (which for a 1-year-old, might as well have never happened & they look like strangers to her.), & riding around in a vehicle that doesn’t smell or look anything like Mama’s. Needless to say, her ride back to the hotel from San Mateo entailed a lot of tears. Some suspected she had a stomache-ache, that she may have eaten something upsetting but I knew better than to panic. As soon as we got to the hotel, she nursed & then napped for over an hour (That’s a long nap, by TheSGD standards).
- set up Home Base right away on Day 1 - if you have the energy for it.
This is TheSGD, me, & my mom, all settled in our row in the airplane & ready to leave for our week in the Bay Area, CA!
“In all cases, #Beauty is inevitable.” — Janice Plado Dalager, @TheJPD
“Remember: your relationship with your child…is an ever-changing process, and your intuition is your most helpful asset.” — Louis Borgenicht, M.D.
Helping You Helps Me Help You! -
The link is a chance to win a Year’s worth of virtual assisting - for you AND for me! (This is not my contest, but Ramit Sethi’s of http://IWillTeachYouToBeRich.com. His delivery is stunning, & by “stunning,” I mean, you can’t help but to stop and read his emails. Not for everyone, but his content is good and readable. Full disclosure: I am in his “Earn 1K on the Side” program, but I didn’t get too far into it because, well…I became pregnant and participation in the program got re-prioritized. I’m looking forward to starting up on it again though in 2012. Maybe the virtual assistant I win can help me with that… .)